The Hands That Helped

The morning sun hangs low in the azure sky, obstructed by a flock of clouds, filtering warm sunlight onto my skin. I would usually find this sort of warm sunrise comforting, but it does little to ease the uncomfortable feeling flooding through my veins today. Some might say it’s the school uniform, the damn jumper and blazer we need to wear even in this kind of heat. 

  My fellow students know better – this discomfort is shared among all the student body, and only grows like a plague as people talk more and more about… what they found. I try to keep my head straight, my mind clear and focused but it’s nearly impossible. Even just a simple morning like this, ruined. 

  I keep my head down, hand holding a firm grip on my bag as I subconsciously pick up my pace, trying to avoid their whispers.

  “I can’t believe somebody could do such a thing,” One of them whisper, in a not so hushed voice, their frame hunched close to their friend as they walk just a few feet away from me.

  “I heard it was somebody we go to school with,” The other replies, her voice urgent with fear and worry.

  “Apparently they’re going to start a buddy system soon, so nobody gets put in a dangerous situation like that. It’s not safe to be alone nowadays,” Another chimes in, hurrying to join the gossiping duo.

  I can’t help but feel unsettled. I know what they’re talking about all too well by now. The truth is, it’s hard to remember what’s fact and what’s been added on by the rumours and constant yammering. If anything, it only gets worse. At first, people were saying they found the transfer student’s dead body in the locker room. Now, two weeks after the fact, they claim a ghost dismembered him, and each limb was in a different locker. 

  I shake my head, trying to remove any sort of image from my mind before it can appear. People were just being dramatic, making it worse for everyone around. At the core of it all, there was one definite truth – male students have been disappearing for the past year, with the fifth victim reappearing no more than just two weeks ago in those very halls. 

  Concerned parents with the money to switch to a private school pulled their children out of this dump, but other parents don’t have such liberties. The police can try to calm us down all they like, with empty promises and reassurances of suspects and leads, when it all just does little to soothe the constant fear we live in now.

  I sigh deeply, blocking out the sounds of students in the hallway. I don’t need to listen to know what they’re talking about. The disappearances are the only thing on everyone’s minds nowadays and I can’t say I blame them. 

  My muscles feel rigid and stiff with hesitation as I slide open the door to my classroom, stepping in jankily. People barely spare me a glance as I quietly take my seat, placing down my rough backpack by the floor. My gaze naturally drifts to the only distraction that gets me through all this – our class president, Claire. While we’re childhood friends, we don’t exactly talk at school at all unless it’s necessary. This doesn’t really upset me, given the fact she’s always surrounded by a small crowd, buzzing around her like she’s their queen bee. 

  She stands near the front of the classroom by her desk, an image of ease and lightheartedness in this tough time. As she laughs at something one of her friends say, I feel my tense shoulders easing up, my coiled up frame relaxing ever so slightly. It can’t be helped – she’s had me captivated for months, from the way she talks, to the comfort and support she gives to the class. Her presence is enough to make me feel like everything’s going to be okay.

  A loose strand of her lilac hair falls between her sparkling, honey-coloured eyes and my fingers twitch with the urge to push it behind her ear. She has a sweet smile on those rosy lips of hers, and somehow, she makes the school uniform look appealing, as it hugs her curves in all the right places. She casually sits on the edge of her desk, her skirt riding up slightly to reveal the creamy expanse of her thighs.

  She’s the image of innocence and temptation all in one, and it takes me a second to realise I’ve been staring for a minute now. Catching myself, I quickly straighten my blazer, anything to act natural. My eyes dart around the room, looking out for anyone that might have just caught the falter in my composure.

  My eyes widen slightly, locking onto a young lady sat in the corner. Her appearance is a far cry from the idyllic beauty that Claire posses – her unsettlingly dark eyes are emphasised by the bags underneath them, her skin nearly a sickly pale. She has crimson hair that covers most of her face but I can see clearly that she’s staring at me dead on. 

  As our eyes meet, she holds my gaze, never faltering, never looking away. A moment passes by, then another, with her staring at me shamelessly. Caught off guard, I finally tear my gaze away from her but I can still feel her eyes like daggers on my skin. 

  What the hell is wrong with Lotte? I get that she’s a total outcast and nobody associates with her in any way but that’s no excuse to gawk at me like I’m some museum display. Refusing to look at her again, I stubbornly wait for class to start, making sure to steal a few more glances at Claire as she settles down into her seat, her kind smile a contrast to the heavy atmosphere that the string of disappearances have left in our school. 

  As the minutes tick by, my mind can’t help but drift to Claire no matter how hard I try to think about anything else. I know it was me that said at the start of the year that we shouldn’t talk at school but it gets harder with each day, when all I want to do is reach out to her. Those guys around her have no claim on her, they don’t know her like I do. Me and Claire have been through it all, and I can’t help but start to feel eager for more. We have secrets we share, reasons not to speak at school, but I know as good as anyone that forbidden fruit is all the more sweeter.

  My eyes instinctively narrow as a guy brushes his arm against hers, trying to play it off casually despite the charming grin on his lips and the glint in his eyes. Deciding enough is enough, I stand up abruptly from my seat, starting to make my way over. My mind and sights narrow on Claire as I approach her, striding across the classroom with purpose, only to stumble backwards as I suddenly clash into a smaller figure.

  I take a few steps back, my hand hastily grabbing the edge of a nearby desk to catch myself as I feel a weight on my chest. Blinking quickly, my vision sets on a familiar face just inches away from mine, her hands pressed against my chest as her dark eyes look up at me – Lotte. Was I that caught up in my own thoughts that I just walked straight into her?

  I purse my lips, a small voice in the back of my head saying this was all orchestrated, as she presses her figure against mine, closing the distance between us, using my larger frame for stability as she slowly regains her solid footing on the ground. The oversized jumper she wears does little to hide the swell of her chest, which is all the more obvious when it’s pressed so firmly against me. She neatens her scarlet hair, pushing a few strands away from her face as she finally steps back, a light pink fluster on her cheeks. Her eyes suddenly flicker with pain, and she bends over slightly to hold her ankle as she winces. 

  “Ah, sorry about that… I think I’ve just sprained my ankle,” She says in a small, delicate voice, that would nearly make your heart melt if it wasn’t for the unnerving aura surrounding her.

  Just as I’m about to reply, my gaze instinctively flickers to Claire, who’s now looking at us, her gaze nearly eager to see my reaction. I quickly avert my gaze back to Lotte, a small sigh leaving my lips as I hold her waist, helping her balance on her foot. My hands fit snugly on the dip of her waist, and she seems to lean in comfortably into my touch as she looks up, tears prickling the corners of her eyes.

  “Hey, it’s alright, accidents happen. Let me help you out, I’ll take you to the infirmary,” I insist, hoping my kind offer reaches the ears of Claire to impress her. That’ll show her that I can be thoughtful and helpful to those around me, maybe earn me a few points on her good side. 

  Lotte’s left hand is still on my chest, and her fingers lightly dig into the shirt I’m wearing as she relies on me to keep her upright. “Take me to the infirmary?” Lotte echoes my words, as if in disbelief that someone would offer a helping hand, given her reputation. Without giving me a chance to reply, she quickly says: “Thanks, that would be really helpful. Let’s go quickly before homeroom starts.”

  I readjust my position, wrapping one arm around her waist as I guide her slowly out the door, her small hand holding my shoulder as she leans her waist against my side. Once we arrive at the infirmary, she sits down on the edge of the bed. I check around the room, but the school nurse seems to be absent. 

  With a small sigh, I realise that I got myself into more than I intended as I walk back to Lotte, standing in front of her. She looks up at me through her eyelashes, expecting my aid. Not wanting to disappoint, I kneel down and hold her ankle gently. She flinches slightly, but doesn’t pull away, letting me assess the injury to her ankle.

  I softly pull down her ivory, knee high sock, gently removing her raven black shoe as I do so. Her skin is soft to the touch, and I feel a jolt of electricity course through my body as my rough fingertips brush against her ankle. I raise my brow slightly in confusion, tilting my head.

  “Uh, I don’t see any bruising or swelling. Are you sure it’s sprained?” I ask, my eyes darting between her ankle, held in my hand, and the girl looking down at me. The air is slightly tense and awkward, and she’s obviously not used to accepting help from others.

  “Well, it hurts, okay? Is there like, an ice pack or something for my ankle?” She suggests, her eyes avoiding my gaze. I press my lips together, starting to think this was all some sort of distraction, one that I let pull me away from Claire. Quickly getting to my feet, I fetch her an ice pack while she sits up on the bed, lying her legs straight. Gently placing the ice pack on her ankle, Lotte shivers at the sensation.

  “Here, just rest your ankle for now. I’ll go back to the homeroom and let the teacher know you’re here,” My voice is soft but really, I want to hurry back already and get out of this situation, make sure there aren’t some random guys trying their luck with Claire while I’m away. 

  “R-Right! Thanks for helping me out,” She quickly replies, stammering slightly as she looks away, shifting slightly on the bed as she rubs her knees together. I turn away, taking my leave with a small goodbye, closing the door to the infirmary behind me.

  The rest of the school day goes by as usual, with people still talking about the string of disappearances, and trying to go on about things as normal as they can. When it reaches the end of the day, I step outside the main building, letting the breeze brush through my hair as I soak in the fresh air with a deep breath.

  I jump slightly at the shock of contact, a gentle hand suddenly on my arm. Claire walks next to me, her long, lilac hair drifting in the breeze as she regards me with a soft expression: “Hey, thanks for helping out Lotte. As class president, I should’ve been quicker to react but I guess I was just surprised. I’m glad that… you weren’t afraid what people might say if you helped her.”

  “Don’t worry about it, you’ve got enough on your plate,” I reply simply. My words are followed by a moment of silence, and I see her shift around nervously before her eyes snap back to me as I speak, “Hey, how about we start walking home together again? Just like we used to in middle school. Since that guy isn’t around anymore,” I suggest, a small smile making it’s way to the corner of my lips.

  Her eyes widen slightly, and she looks away before slowly nodding her head, “Sure, I wouldn’t mind. It’s up to you anyway.”

  With that, she softly takes my arm, hugging it loosely as we start to walk out the school gates and down the street. The air is filled with a comfortable silence that comes with years of us knowing eachother, and just her presence alone is enough to make me think of the fear and tension surrounding my life lately.

  “I remember you used to hold my hand when we walked, but now, your arms are still by your sides,” She says in a playful tone as she thinks to the past. She holds my arm closer, her side pressing against it, her soft curves a soothing presence. Her hand trails down my wrist. I feel a jolt of anticipation as her fingertips brush against my inner palm and she intertwines our fingers together. “Just like this. You used to hold my hand just like this, but now you want to act all shy?” She questions, a soft smile on her glossy lips.

  I clear my throat, my skin tingling at the sensation of her gentle touch as she hugs my arm. I can feel the heat coming off her body, and just how delicate she is in the way her chest presses against my arm unintentionally.

  “Guess I just forgot what it was like,” I lie through my teeth, knowing full well I cherish the moments we used to share, just like this, everyday. 

  “Stop being shy already, can’t you see that I want to keep you close?” She asks, squeezing my hand in hers as she glances up at me. When she’s this close, I can smell the soft scent of her vanilla perfume, and something uniquely her.

  “You shouldn’t say things like that, or else I’ll get the wrong idea,” I reply with a quick, nervous laugh. She huffs slightly, her lower lip pouting out as she pulls me closer, her other hand coming up to grip my arm tightly as though she’s afraid I’ll slip away.

  “Wrong idea? Says the one who keeps staring at me during class. Don’t think I haven’t noticed,” She says teasingly, a mischievous grin on her lips.

  “I’m just keeping an eye on you, for your own safety,” I insist, sighing softly.

  “So spend time with me at school again, so we can keep an eye on eachother. You’re making me feel desperate. When you answer a question during class, I finally have an excuse to look over my shoulder and look at you. I want to keep an eye on you too, you know,” She says, her grip on me finally easing up.

  “Alright then, have it your way,” I say shortly, feeling the heat creep up my neck from how close she is and the words leaving those lips of hers. Those lips that are only a few inches away, slightly parted as if waiting for my kiss. My throat goes dry as I look at her beautiful expression in thought as we walk. I find myself reluctantly holding her hand back, and she looks up at me with a small smile, acknowledging even the small effort I’ve made to get closer to her.

  “It’s settled then. From now on, you spend more time with me, in and out of school,” She says with a small giggle that sounds like the soft jingling of bells. It tickles my ears, and I can’t help but mirror her smile.

  Since that day, I feel as though we’ve finally started to rekindle things between us, with the promise for more. Things had been going smoothly and I could feel Claire starting to open up to me again, only for one hindrance. One small, but catastrophic annoyance, like the annoying hum of lights during the worst exam of my life. Except, this interruption was Lotte, between me and Claire.

  Sat down at a dining table during lunch with Claire and just beginning to eat our packed lunches, I clench the cutlery in my hand as Lotte hurries over, sitting next to me without a second thought. She quickly opens her own packed lunch, sitting close enough for me to feel the warmth from her skin, and for her to ‘accidentally’ brush her arm against mine for a few moments too long.

  “Hey, I thought I’d join you two. You don’t mind, right?” Lotte asks in a forceful tone, fully aware of her intrusion. Despite this, she doesn’t seem to care at all that she interrupted us, and is happy to be butting in. 

  “Uh, of course not, Lotte. Is your ankle better?” Claire asks with a kind expression on her face, welcoming Lotte to the table.

  “Yeah, feels much better now, all thanks to him. He took such good care of me the other day, you know,” Lotte says with a small smirk on the edge of her lips. I feel a twisting feeling in my gut as I open my mouth to protest, only for Lotte to continue talking. “Oh, I think I heard the student council was looking for you, so you should probably go check what that’s about, Claire.”

  Claire looks taken aback for a moment before slowly nodding her head, packing away her lunch as she trusts in Lotte’s words, “Thanks for letting me know, uhm, it’s probably to do with the upcoming safety changes around here. I’ll see you guys later,” Claire says before taking her leave, giving me a small reassuring and knowing smile.

  “You should be more careful who you choose to hang out with nowadays, not everyone is gonna look out for you like I do,” Lotte says as soon as Claire is out of sight, leaning closer to me. Her voice is gentle but seems to hold genuine concern. She looks up at me with her dark eyes, fluttering her lashes slightly as she gets uncomfortably close. She whispers in my ear, her warm breath hitting my skin and sending a shiver down my spine. “I know you think I’m just getting in the way but… I’d never let anything happen to you. You mean too much to me.”

  Her word hang in the air and I feel my throat go dry as she slowly pulls away, a tension of unspoken desire with a mix of sincerity surrounding us.

  Since then, I tried multiple for times to spend more time alone with Claire, despite Lotte’s attempts to get in the way of my plans. Despite this, Lotte somehow always managed to find me, and slither her way into our hang outs.

  One day after school, I rejoice as Claire holds my arm as usual, her hand slowly inching down to my hand. This was starting to become routine, and was the part of the day I couldn’t help but look forward to. My breath hitches slightly in my throat as her fingertips drag down my arm, closer and closer to my hand, only to gasp as a sudden force breaks between us.

  Lotte fills the little space that was between me and Claire, occupying it with her small frame. Without hesitation, she boldly holds my hand, clasping onto it tightly, leaving no room for me to argue against her as she glares at Claire out the corner of her eye.

  “Hope I’m not interrupting anything. I just realised you guys walk the same way home as I do. I don’t have anyone to walk home with, and with how dangerous things are around school right now, is it alright if I join you guys from now on?” Lotte says brightly, a small giggle leaving her lips as she leans closer to me, the side of her head resting on my shoulder as we walk.

  Claire’s eyes flash with annoyance for a moment before she schools her expression to one of her usual indifference and kindness, “Sure, Lotte. I’d just hate for anything to happen to you,” Claire says with a forced sweetness in her voice.

  Lotte holds her nose up triumphantly, a playful laugh leaving her lips as she hugs my arm, gazing at Claire’s annoyed expression. “Thanks, I appreciate it. I feel so much safer with him around, what can I say?” Lotte says with a cheeky giggle as Claire curls her hands into fists at the sight of Lotte cosying up to me.

  Truthfully, I want nothing more than to keep Claire to myself, keep her close, keep her away from the constant admirers lingering around her. Just when the guy that she was talking to, the one that had been walking her home for the past few months, had finally gone away, I now had to face this new obstacle. 

  The next day, I’m sat as usual in the classroom waiting for homeroom to begin, only to jump slightly as Claire slams her hand down on my desk. My eyes quickly move from outside the window to the cute girl standing in front of me, her cheeks rosy with frustration as she looks at me with furrowed brows.

  “I- I’ve had enough. I can’t wait to have you to myself any longer. I want you to meet me at the park this Saturday, no excuses. I won’t let you say no,” She demands, crossing her arms as she looks at me hopefully. Despite her words, there’s no real threat or agression behind her tone. Instead, her voice is laced with a hint of desperation, her eyes glimmering slightly in the sunlight as she stares at my dumbfounded expression.

  “I mean… sure. I didn’t have plans this weekend anyway,” I accept her invitation, rubbing the back of my neck to try and calm my nerves down at the thought of spending this weekend with Claire.

  “Really?” She says, her face lighting up with excitement. I swear I can see her bouncing up and down slightly as she gives me a thumbs up. “It’s a plan then! See you!”

  With that, I found myself counting the time down until I would be able to spend time alone with Claire at the park. She messaged me with her location on the day, so following her instructions, I let my phone navigate me through the twisting paths of the large park until I came across an endearing sight.

  Amongst the greenery of lush, emerald grass and tall magnolia trees, raining their white petals across the ground, was Claire. She sat on a plaid picnic blanket, her hair styled to compliment her features as she wore a pearly white sundress that accentuated her curves and gave a tantilising view of her cleavage from above, finished with a bow at the back of her dress, highlighting her slim waist.

  Making sure not to stare too long, I sat down next to her, where she had prepared some food for us in containers. She had baked some heart shaped butter biscuits, cooked fried rice, and brought us some tea in a flask. She picks up one of the biscuits in her slender fingers, scooting closer to me as she sits up. She stretches out her hand, waiting to feed me a bite of the biscuit.

  “Thanks for coming today, I… I made you some biscuits. I hope they taste alright. Try them,” She says, holding the biscuit up to my lips. I lean in, taking the small biscuit into my mouth, her fingertips brushing against my bottom lips. Her breath hitches slightly, and she tilts her head, expecting my reaction.

  I chew and swallow down the biscuit with a hum of satisfaction, nodding appreciatively, “These taste great, you did well.”

  Her eyes twinkle with delight at my praise, and she moves to sit even closer, “I’m so relieved, I tried my best to get it right for you. Making you smile like this – it’s all I’ve been looking forward to this week,” She confesses with a blush on her cheeks as her gaze shyly glances away for a moment.

  “That means a lot, thanks,” I say gratefully, my hand finding its way to the small of her back, my thumb gently rubbing circles on the thin fabric of her dress. She leans into my touch, her eyelashes fluttering slightly at the sensation of my hand on her lower back. She’s so responsive, and eager for my affection.

  “You don’t know how much I’ve wanted to be close to you like this… how patiently I’ve been waiting. When I’m next to you, everything feels right,” She leans in closer, her soft breath ghosting over my ear as her hand softly touches my chest, caressing me tenderly. “If you made me wait to be alone with you any longer, I don’t think I could help myself.”

  “I want to be closer to you too, Claire,” I say in a hushed voice as she melts into my touch, her breasts softly pressing against me in an intimate gesture, her hand drifting down from my chest to rest on my lower thigh possessively.

  “Don’t say things like that, or else it’ll be impossible for me to want anything else. I can’t stop thinking about you already,” She whispers, her voice needy yet gentle as her leg brushes against mine.

  “Wh-What have you been thinking about?” I say, my voice coming out slightly strained.

  “I’ve been imagining what it would be like to have you with me in a special, quiet place. Just the two of us,” She says teasingly, her hand coming up to brush some hair out my face. “This is what happens when you keep making me wait. So… how about I take you home with me, and show you just how much I’ve missed having you all to myself?”

  I feel my cheeks heat up at her proposal and she blushes softly. Next thing I know, her hand is in mine as she leads me up the stairs of her home, all the way up to her bedroom hastily. She closes the door behind us eagerly. The way she looks at me with her warm, inviting eyes, is enough for me to nearly lose my control on the spot. 

  She slowly unties the bow at the back of her dress, letting it fall, forgotten onto the floor. She takes steps closer to me, her dress now loose and sliding down her shoulders. By the time she’s pressed up against me and has closed the distance between us, she’s in nothing but her lacy black underwear.

  She holds my wrists, guiding my hands to feel the dip of her waist. She bites back a small, eager noise at the feeling of my skin against hers, and she looks up at me. 

  “I can’t help but be greedy, so let me have you to myself tonight,” She says, pushing me onto the bed and pinning me down beneath her. Her bra-clad breasts are large and soft, pressing against my chest even as she hovers over me. I can’t help but freeze as she straddles me on the bed, the heat of her core through the thin lace of her panties pressing against my most intimate area. The sensation goes straight down, causing it to twitch slightly. 

  She lets out a soft whimpering at the hardening feeling beneath her, and she blushes, a small giggle leaving her lips as her eyes sparkle with affection. “I want to be close to you. Tell me to stop if you want me to. Or else… I don’t know if I can hold back any longer,” She confesses, her lips parting slightly.

  Feeling a surge of arousal at her words, I grip her hips firmly, flipping our positions. She gasps softly as I pin her beneath me, her breasts swaying with the movement. She bites her lips, her breathing quickening.

  “Don’t tease me like that… not when you’ve been I’ve been wanting you for so long,” I say boldly, grinding my hardness against her core. She throws her head back into the cushions in pleasure, a soft moan leaving her lips as her legs wrap around my waist firmly. 

  “Take me, please,” She says breathily, her hands caressing my chest. Just before I can lean in to kiss her, I feel lightheaded, unable to stop swaying. Her tender countenance melts away, and she looks at me with a cold glint in her eyes as I struggle to remain upright, my head spinning in my head.

  It feels like the world is crumbling around me, and my vision is starting to go, but not before I see her suddenly reach for something hidden underneath the pillow. The cold metal shines menacingly in her hand as she suddenly holds a knife to my throat, her voice a low growl.

  “I’ve had enough of you threatening me, enough of you gawking at me and controlling every part of my life. I won’t let you continue this any longer, I can’t-!” She says in a low tone, the metal pressing against my skin, my pulse thumping in my throat and my head as I struggle to process what’s happening. 

  I must have pushed her too far, expecting her to still interact with me again, despite everything I’ve put her through, all the threats I’ve made in the past. I collapse to the side, my vision going dark as I hear muffled yells and banging on the door. 

  I wake up, after what feels like just a few moments of darkness, a sharp pain searing through my skull. I quickly squint my eyes, making out the fluorescent, white lights on the ceiling as my hand rubs my temples. As soon as my eyes adjust to the harsh lighting, I look around at my surroundings. 

  They were neat, clean, clinical. Realising I was in the hospital, I slowly sit up, only to pause as I see a redhead resting by my side, her head in her arms as she leans against the edge of my bed. As if sensing my movements, she starts to stir, eyes slowly fluttering open. She rubs her eyes as they focus on me.

  “What a relief, you’re okay! I was so worried,” Lotte says, quickly taking my hand into hers as tears prick the corners of her eyes. “I tried to help you as best I could and keep you safe from her. I should have been there,” She says, a small sob leaving her lips as she looks down, head bowed in regret. I reach out, quickly taking her cheek into my hand and wiping a stray tear away with my thumb.

  Quickly adjusting myself to this new situation as Claire’s betrayal starts to dawn over me, I try to reassure Lotte as best I can: “You’ve done enough, Lotte. I should have listened to you.”

  “I- I would have just told you everything but I’ve been working with the police. There’s no easy way to say this…” She begins, steeling herself and biting her lip. “Claire has been the lead suspect for the string of disappearances in our school. All the guys were related to her in some way, from being her boyfriend, to even guys she was getting closer to, like the one who used to walk her home before you did. When I saw you two starting to speak… and how close you two were… I couldn’t stay away. Not for a moment. I’m so sorry. I’ve been working with the police, since she targeted my big brother about half a year ago.”

  I sigh softly, listening to Lotte’s explanation. Leaning back into the pillows, I close my eyes, processing the information. “Really? She’s been behind it all along? I can’t believe she managed to pull this off for so long… where is she now? Has she confessed, or said anything at all?” I interrogate Claire, trying to make sure my voice is not too keen.

  “She’s been held by police for the last few days, she refuses to confess or say anything about the crimes. But with the evidence we already have, and the attempt she made on you, they think it might be enough. The police had bugged her house, so came as quickly as possible when they heard that she was alone with somebody. They’ve been waiting for her to slip up for the past two weeks. Now, those poor souls can be put to rest, and justice can be served,” Lotte says with a small smile, leaning in to press a kiss to my forehead as she pets my head reassuringly. “I’m sorry, I’m just so happy you’re alright. I don’t know what I would have done if…”

  “Don’t think like that,” I say, taking her hand in mine.

  “I’m just… so relieved! I thought I lost you. The thought of you not being here with me anymore… made me realise I was scared of losing you. I was scared… of not being able to ever tell you how I really feel about you,” She sobs, trembling softly as she holds my hand to her cheek, melting into my touch and closing her eyes. 

  Her voice catches and she bites her lip, “I’ve been so focused on trying to keep you safe all this time, that I didn’t get the chance to show you who I really am. I don’t want you to think I’m annoying… I just thought… it was worth it to have you think of me that way, as long as I could keep you safe. As long as I could keep you next to me. I know it’s selfish right now, but… I love you. I love you. I love you. I can’t bear to lose you. When did you sneak into my heart… and make me feel like this?” She cries softly in my hand, rubbing her cheek against my palm as I softly wipe her tears.

  After the situation had passed, I couldn’t help but feel the need to confront Claire, to demand answers for her betrayal. My feelings for her couldn’t burn away so easily, not without answers, not after everything we had been through together.

  Without trying to think too much about it, I finally met privately with Claire one evening. She was recently sent to prison, after being found guilty for the disappearances and murders that had once plagued our school. The sunlight filters in through the barred window of the confined room for visitors at the women’s prison, offering little comfort to me.

  I lean across the table, my elbows on the cold surface as I look at her with a sharp eye. “You shouldn’t have betrayed me like that. Did you really think you could get rid of me so easily?” I question in a hushed tone. She flinches at the sight of my voice, shrinking before me in her seat. She didn’t look nearly as glamorous as she used to, in a scrappy inmate outfit with messily braided hair. 

  “I didn’t say anything to the police, not a word. Why can’t you leave me alone? I did everything you wanted,” She cries softly into her hands, her wrists chained together by a pair of handcuffs that catch the light in the dimly lit room.

  “You know how much you mean to me, Claire. It was your own fault, getting a boyfriend, hanging out with other guys. You didn’t listen to me when I warned you that they all just wanted one thing. They can’t appreciate you like I can. They didn’t know you like I do. So of course I had to take care of them,” I reply firmly, my hand clenching into a fist until my knuckles whiten.

  “I- I didn’t want anything to do with this-”

  “Yet you listened to me, didn’t you? When I told you to lure those guys away from prying eyes. When I told you to let me handle it. So why can’t you listen when I say to stay away from other men?” I interrogate her harshly, my fist slamming down on the table, making it shake beneath us.

  She yelps, tears prickling the corners of her eyes as she holds up her hands in a placating gesture: “You- You threatened my family! Of course I had to do what you wanted- I just-”

  “Shut up, Claire. You really think this is enough to keep me from you?”

  “Please stop, just leave me alone. I just wanted to get rid of you already, I just wanted to be free. I can’t believe you’re really doing this,” She cries softly, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears in a desperate expression.

  “Nothing is enough to keep me from you. Nothing. At least you know better than to run your mouth. So, you’ll be on your best behaviour here. You’ll let me visit you every week. You’ll stay away from any other men, because I hope by now… you know better.”